Conversations from the past few weeks…

A few weeks ago, I was sitting with some of my children enjoying the sunny Kenyan day when my phone rang. I didn’t recognize the number.

“Hello,” I said

“Who is this,” came the reply in Swahili?

“Who are you,” I responded in English.

“Who are you,” the Kenyan man barked back, again in Swahili?

“You need to speak English please,” I asked, playing ignorant.

*click* he hung on me.

Five minutes later he called back and our pointless banter began where we left off.

“Hello,” I said.

“Who is this,” came the reply in Swahili?

“Who are you,” I responded in English?

“Who are you,” again in Swahili?

“Sir, you are the one calling my phone. It would seem that before you dial a number you should know who you are calling.”

“Who are you,” he asked this time in perfect English?

“Again, you are the one calling me and need to identify yourself first,” I said.

“You have my package,” he said rudely.

“How can I have your package if you don’t even know who you are? How did you get my number,” I asked?

“I found it on my table,” he said.

“So you are telling me that you, who won’t identify yourself, randomly found my number on your table, decided to call that number and then tell me, who you don’t know, that I have your package? That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

*click*

The next day I got a text message from the same guy. The message read: “Sir, my name is ----- and I was told by ---- that you had a package for me. Can we arrange a meeting so I can collect the package?”

As soon as I got the text, I knew exactly who he was and what he was talking about. In fact, I did have a package for him.

I think after our pointless phone conversation the day before, he realized that his approach was not achieving the desired outcome. He came up with a new approach and it worked. The next day he had his package.

Last week I was having some problems with the internet.

Amazingly, considering I live in Africa, we have semi high speed wireless internet at our base, though it’s not always dependable. Most common reasons it doesn’t work: the phone line got stolen, the power it out or they are doing “upgrades” which seems to happen several times a week. This last week, I went in to complain that it wasn’t working.

“My internet hasn’t been working well for about a week,” I tell the Telcom Rep.

“Really, that’s strange?”

“So…. Is there a problem somewhere,” I ask?

“No, what is not working?” Telcom Rep asks. I go on to explain the consistent problem.

“That’s really strange.” the rep says, again.

“So, you are telling me that there is no problem with the system?” I ask again.

“No, our system is working well. Maybe you need to bring your wireless router in for us to update.” The Rep tells me.

“Why would I need to do that?” I ask.

“Because last week we upgraded our system and the new system is not compatible with the software in your current router.”

“So you are saying that my internet isn’t working well because the software in my router needs to be updated,” I asked?

“That’s exactly the problem.”

“So, why didn’t you say that at first,” I asked annoyed. The rep looked at me like she suddenly forgot English and had no idea what I was saying.

I went home and got my router and brought it back to the Telcom office. They assured me that it would be upgraded in an hour.

When I went back in an hour I had no problem identifying which one was mine as they decided to write the account name on the side in blue marker…looks classy.  

I brought it home and hooked it up. It seemed to be receiving the internet but there was one problem, the wireless didn’t work. I spent two hours trying to figure out the problem. Finally I called the office and talked to the guy who updated the system.

“The wireless isn’t working in my router,” I said.

“That’s because I didn’t activate it,” he responded

“Well, um, why didn’t you activate it,” I asked?

“Because no one told me that you used it.”

“Why didn’t you ask me when I was in your office multiple times today?”

“It’s your fault because you should have told me,” he said.

“What’s the point of a wireless router if the wireless doesn’t work?” He didn’t have a response to that.  

These kinds of conversations seem to riddle my days in Africa as I learn more and more how to be a better communicator. I thought you might be humored by them…