One of the hardest things about doing full time ministry is dealing with Christians. Honestly, some Christians I’ve met, who are in full time ministry, have been the meanest and most hurtful people ever. No wonder the world looks at the “church” and wants nothing to do with it. I can’t blame them. There are times when I’m ashamed to be associated with “Christians.” Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m ashamed of Christ or to live a life representing my Father’s love, but rather, to be grouped in with people who claim to live a life for Christ yet don’t display any evidence of this based on the way they behave.
A bold statement, I know, but I think we need more boldness among believers. That’s how we can weed out the Christian posers who claim one thing and live out another.
I can feel some readers bristling and becoming defensive already.
Let me give some personal examples.
I worked for a Christian who would cuss me out every time I didn’t meet his expectation in my work performance. I didn’t stay long at that job.
In the midst of conflict, a pastor angrily let out a stream of swear words as he told me that I didn’t know God’s will for my life and I wasn’t welcomed in “his” church anymore.
Because I was standing up for truth in a situation, a Christian community leader, in the U.S., decided to pass on a rumor that I was having sex with many woman. This rumor caused fallout with “friends” who decided that they would believe this rumor rather than confront or defend me.
While in Kenya
A few years ago, a few Christians threatened to have me arrested, taken to court and deported because I wouldn’t allow them to dip their hands into the ministry’s purse.
Another pastor started a rumor that I am characterized by surrounding myself with lots of woman and I’m a loose guy.
Four years ago, a Christian ministry leader had left some metal pipes (valued at $15) in my compound. I asked him monthly, for 6 months, to come and get them. He said he would. Since he lived one street over, I didn’t think it would be a hassle. After 6 months, I figured he really didn’t care about them so I gave them away. He came over, a few weeks, later and found that they were gone. He proceeded to yell at me and tell me that I was good for nothing and that my parents must be so ashamed of me. After he had no more he could yell about, I handed him $15, and asked him to leave my compound.
These are all stories of not only Christians, but Christian leaders, the “called” ones who supposedly the Lord has lead to be leaders among the body of Christ.
Scary, I know.
Through my 11 years of being in full time ministry, I have learned, mostly through mistakes, how we are supposed to respond in these situations, especially in times of persecution.
Jesus says in Luke 6:27-28 “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
In the Greek, the word “bless” is eulogeo which means “to speak well of”.
I have to admit, speaking well of those I don’t like is harder than it seems, in fact, most times it seems impossible. “You just made up a story that I’m sleeping around with many different woman and I’m supposed to speak well of you, and then pray for you?” Yeah, right…
My natural tendency is to defend myself, to prove myself right and justified, to get in your face and show you that you’re wrong. But isn’t this response just as wicked and ungodly as the accusers?
I’ve learned, that in most cases, when someone “curses” me, speaks against me, starts rumors, spreads lies, that it is in fact not about me, but about them. It is about something that they are going through that has nothing to do with me. I just crossed their path at the wrong time and got caught in their tornado of fury.
In 2006, for the first time, I began to implement Biblical truths into dealing with conflict and found that the biggest change was not the behavior of the offender, but in my heart. My heart began to soften and bitterness was replaced with love. When I pray for those who cause me harm, when I speak well of (bless) them, I begin to love them. And then, I start to see that their issue with me is rooted much deeper in personal struggles in their own life, struggles that have nothing to do with me.
I see too, that the root of my control issues and frustration is not because of “stupid” people, but because of my own thinking. Other people are not the ones to change, but it is me to look deep within and examine my self, my own sin and struggles, my lack of love.
I like Paul’s words in Romans when he says; "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” 12:20-21
I was able to practice this verse two years ago when I was threatened to be taken to court and deported. Some lofty allegations were thrown my way and rather than defending myself, my response was “If I’ve truly committed an offense and broke the law, then I am ready to face the consequences.” I went on to speak well of my accuser and to give them resources beyond what they were asking. Because of my calm response, because I didn’t defend myself or become angry, because I “gave them drink,” they had no course of action and were left confused. The conflict dissipated quickly and in the end, everything I had hoped for, I received.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
It is so difficult for us as Christians to behave like Christians, to implement Biblical principles into our every day lives. But it is so necessary that we do. We are serving in a lost and dying world and we tend to waste time fighting amongst ourselves. The world will only see the love of Christ when they see Christians loving each other.
"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:35
I used to feel that I had to defend myself against all gossip. But recently my dad brought this verse to my attention, shedding a new perspective on all the persecution that comes my way because of the stand I take for righteousness.
"Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:10
There is a time for righteous anger and a time to defend ourselves and certain situation, but more than anything, love must supersede all these things.
Everyday when I get up, I have to make the choice, am I going to allow bitterness to take root in my heart, am I going to curse those who curse me, am I going to be a “hurtful” and “hateful” Christian, or am I going to bless those who curse me, pray for them and allow love to surpass all other things?
4 comments:
Your growth inspires my own.
^ I agree with what Anon said above.
This struck me profoundly, because right now, I am in pain and struggling in a situation in which a good and close friend has deleted me from his friends' list, and I don't want the friendship to end. If this friendship wasn't so important, I wouldn't have bothered, but I value it, so that is why it hurts. I want this friend back.
The more that he is trying to be prideful and snubbing me, the more my heart reaches out to him and the more I begin to pray for him, so that he may be enlightened, and that he will realize that he holds very precious treasures in his life, that he shouldn't neglect or let go of.
I love him very much, and though he has done this to me, I just pray for him.
Carmel, it sounds like there might be something deeper going on here. I’m sure there is a lot more to the story, but he could be setting healthy boundaries in his life.
Wow. It is so refreshing to stumble upon someone speaking the same language as my Lord. Our walk with the Father is about stewarding our hearts. Our destiny begins in our heart. Thank you writing this.
Post a Comment